I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
