The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
