Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
