kristin has been a bad kristin
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How does one acquire holy water?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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