I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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