life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I need a burrito and a hug.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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