you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
love makes seman taste better
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
