I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
