We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
