Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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