i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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