This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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