oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
