What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
