Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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