just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
