I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
