I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
