My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
