Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We got so high we made milksteak
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
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