Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize