Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
