I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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