hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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