So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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