I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
