I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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