DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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