The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
barbara walters just said penis...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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