My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
