Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
