i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
