uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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