Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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