That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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