But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
