the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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