dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
