i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
