A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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