You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
