Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
