Christians are straight up FREAKS
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
