The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
