Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
