Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
