so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
