I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
