You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
