just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
