I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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