i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
