hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
